Sunday 10 June 2007

it won't go away

Somebody asked me last week sometime what is the first thing I notice about someone.
It's had me thinking ever since.
Physically it would be feet. Or hair. These are both things, I personally am rather obsessed with.
I can honestly say never would I look at somebody and think they are ugly. I don't know if my mind doesn't work like that, but I just can't see ugliness in physical terms.
Maybe it was the years of bullying that altered the way I look at people.
Or what I deem ugliness to be.
I know some ugly people. But ugly isn't a word I would ever use to describe somebodies physicality.
I had an email from my mum also a week or so ago. I had been discussing this with her on the phone, it's something that really upsets and baffles me when somebody describes another person as ugly, when they are speaking purely about their looks.
The last line of my mums email reminded me of why she is the best mum in the world, and has been rolling over and over and over my head ever since. It feels like it's a thought thats leading on to something bigger, something more poignant in my personal life. I knew this line when I read it, I believe in what my mum typed to me fully, I teach this line to the girls I come in contact with, I believe this line when my eyes are so dark because I havn't slept right, I eat well and good and healthily with no fear of guilt because I believe in this line. I try to live and revel in this line every day of my life. But for some reason, I just can not shift it this month. On reading it it really hit me in the face. Why? I'm still figuring it out.

"what a sad life worrying about keeping slim and beautiful on the outside when what really matters to God is our character."

What do you see when you meet someone for the first time? What a simple question. What a hard thing to answer.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i could honestly say that the first thing i meet someone is their eyes. don't know why. i just believe that you can hide a lot behind clothes, makeup or hair style. but you can't hide what's in your eyes. you can't fake feeling pain, or hurt, or any kind of other feeling. i believe that. maybe cause that's why i used to be like.

this post has truly impacted my life rhi... more than you could even imagine.

i love you.