a colorful mess

Dear Rhian,

It is getting late, but I don't care. My mind seems to be way too preoccupied to wanna switch off. Tonight, I decided to take my paint again. And create, express, talk in a painting way whatever was going through my mind.

I don't consider myself as an "great artist". I don't believe in competition when it comes to art. I don't think art should be a competition in the first place. I think everyone should be true to themselves when they make whatever they create. And not make something with the motivation of showing the world how great they are. Or how better they are from the other - even if the competition is done in a friendly way. Many artists have become that.

This is probably why I love your art so much. You way of expressing yourself. Because you make it for you. I love your honesty. Your boldness. Because no matter what the other person might think, you still make. And you still create.

This is why. You're my favorite.

You see. These past few days have changed me a little more. life is so fragile. And because life only holds to a breath, I want to live everyday as if it was my last. And if today is my last, then I want the world to know that they should have you as a friend. For you have enriched my life. And I know that you enrich many lives around the globe.

I was thinking of you today.

I miss you.

Good night - because you, hopefully, are sleeping.

for flo

this is an ancient celtic prayer, flo.
one that gets me through most days :)

As the rain hides the stars,
as the autumn mist hides the hills,
as the clouds veil the blue of the sky,
so the dark happenings of my lot
hide the shining of your face from me.
Yet, if I may hold your hand
in the darkness, it is enough,
Since I know that
though I may stumble in my going,
You do not fall.

love you x

photographs and memories

lovely :)

i know you're still there...

... but i miss you. and so. i take pictures thinking about you. self portrait and feet. loving you my dear. xxx

ON TV

here you are my friend. looking as beautiful as ever. and glowing away a beautiful shinny n' sparkly glow. i love you.

happy travels

hopefully by the time you read this you will be home :)
and this picture has nothing to do with my post. i just thought you might not have seen it if you don't check my flickr :)
love <3

holding hands

frienship is so sacred. it's like giving a part of yourself to someone. it's all about honesty, transparency, grace, forgiveness, integrity, faithfulness and above all: letting the other one 'be'.
a close friend emailed me asking if i made lots of friends over my side of the world. and. i started thinking.
it didn't get far when i realized how few they were. i'm not a "popular" girl. i'm not that 'girl' everyone will want to be around - maybe cause i might be too french for them. i don't have many friends but i rather have a few precious rare jewels than having many hypocrite b&?&es!
i am so careful at choosing my friends. i am not scared of trusting someone. but i'm not stupid. and want to choose them wisely.
i made many mistakes in the past. learned from them. cried. and now, i'm up again. in many ways, stronger. and i'm overwhelmed by the grace and forgiveness one gave me when she could've turned her back on me. this is why i know that true friendship is also about new chances. to remain. to keep loving. keep forgiving. and being.

this is for you my dear. because with everything within me, i cherish our friendship. and look forward to those years to come as we grow older. and. i can picture ourselves sitting down in a field filled with a flashy green grass, having tea and cupcakes!
and. look at me. i still have my teeth! and they're not fake!

a wednesday big love

dear lovely - yes i am talking to you - the crazy fun rocking you!

there is something about toes. i love. i really do. you might think i am not normal. well. that probably is because i am not. and that's ok. i accepted that fact a long time ago. normal is boring anyways. so. i might just enjoy being. me.

it's raining again today. i am not complaining. i am thanking the heavens for it. it's cool. there is that soft breeze going through the house right now and it inspires me. totally. completely.

my son's been having fun destroying everything that is on his path! literally. having 2 eyes at the back of my head is becoming more than handy. the only problem is: 'i don't have 2 eyes at the back of my head'. so. you can imagine the state of my house. actually. no you can't. it is worse than worse. that's ok. i've been prepared psychologically. well. i think so anyways?! and, i am accepting the fact that prepare or not prepared, i am thrown into the mad discovery mess of a baby's world. it is so much fun. very interesting. and extremely tiring.

so. on that note, i am going. going to bake, tidy, play and work.

happy wednesday to you my lovelyhead. i am thinking of you as you're going to America and spend some good times with your loves. you deserve to go there. so. enjoy - every day, minute and seconds. i will be here thinking of you, as always.

me xxxx

a chocy post

my very dear chocolate,
it is so true. eating you never sorted my problems out. but come to think of it, water either. so. i might just well keep on enjoying your heavenly chocy taste while i'm at it!

yes i am. the flo. and yes i am. a chocoholic.

yours truly. devoted to you i am. now and always.

Dear Flora

On this day of all days, where we can not help but be reminded that life is short, fleeting, uncomprehendable and often painful. May we remember to be silly, to laugh lots, to hug our loved ones often and daily - but to never forget that there is meaning. There is hope. There is grace and love - displayed no more beautifully than in the sacrament of friendship. That when the world screams abnormality, we can live our hardest to be care, and gentle, and broken in suffering and sacrifice for His greater love.

Your friend,

CookieRhi

xxx

letter 2

my dear friend,
i am thinking about you today. and thinking about our bubble bee sunglasses time! i am celebrating again today. celebrating our friendship because we are the proof of grace and forgiveness.
having you as her friend, makes the flo a very happy purple lady!
loving you
xxxx

Beauty in I.N.T.E.G.R.I.T.Y

and. beauty in silence.

My dear friend,
This is for you. Because we are friends. Soul sisters. Because we both believe. Because even though we disagree on some things, we also are alike in many ways.
I love you for your integrity. And today, lovely, I celebrate you. Celebrate that truthful part of your beautiful character. You don't have to say anything to teach other people the wise things. Because, my friend, you shine it out. Through your unique art work. your silence. your laughters. and your brokenness.
I am so happy to have you in my life. You have enriched me.
Love you.
Me.
xxxx

may it be a happy may

and the year goes on. more than a quarter of the year has already gone. today is may. the first day. the first last hours of the evening.

i have been thinking about 'witnessing'. it's funny to think of it that way, but i believe that i am witnessing my son's growing. my best friend-husband's life. and somehow i've been trying to find a way to witness 'the' moment 'it' happened - and wanting to keep it. keeping the moment alive forever. i finally figure out a simple way of doing it. catching those moments through my camera lens and keeping it alive that way. that's what i have decided to do. everyday.

so. happy may. the 5th month of the year. happy witnessing. funny moments. favorites places. or people. or whatever is dear and important to you. or unimportant. happy spring time. happy flowery season. happy sunshine. may it bring smiles to your lips. may it be filled with long lasting n' beautiful memories.

april

every month either bring some good memories. or bad. like the moment he proposed to you. or the moment someone gave you the most beautiful gift ever. or just the fact that you celebrated who you were. until that time. april. a month that i wish could have been deleted. destroyed. wishing it never happened. wishing we could go back in time. i do not know what it's like to loose someone as close as a brother. or sister. or mother. but she knows. i've never experienced that pain. i can only imagine it. i never want to go through that. knowing that i will probably die myself. and probably become really and definitely 'someone that will never be the one i used to be'.
it's so difficult to find the right word to express anger. or injustice. wondering why He let it happen. so many questions. apart of stupidity and people no doing their 'so said caring job' i have no other answer.
so. i wanted to celebrate his life in this darkness and the deep grief. the one that his family have to face everyday. he is a beautiful person. he is loved. and will always be missed.

forever changed

this little man melts my heart. no matter how challenging my days can get at times, this keeps me going. this brings hope to me. and makes me realize that it is worth it.
he's a part of me. and somehow being his mom's changed me forever.