april

every month either bring some good memories. or bad. like the moment he proposed to you. or the moment someone gave you the most beautiful gift ever. or just the fact that you celebrated who you were. until that time. april. a month that i wish could have been deleted. destroyed. wishing it never happened. wishing we could go back in time. i do not know what it's like to loose someone as close as a brother. or sister. or mother. but she knows. i've never experienced that pain. i can only imagine it. i never want to go through that. knowing that i will probably die myself. and probably become really and definitely 'someone that will never be the one i used to be'.
it's so difficult to find the right word to express anger. or injustice. wondering why He let it happen. so many questions. apart of stupidity and people no doing their 'so said caring job' i have no other answer.
so. i wanted to celebrate his life in this darkness and the deep grief. the one that his family have to face everyday. he is a beautiful person. he is loved. and will always be missed.

forever changed

this little man melts my heart. no matter how challenging my days can get at times, this keeps me going. this brings hope to me. and makes me realize that it is worth it.
he's a part of me. and somehow being his mom's changed me forever.

let's dance life together

tuesday. noon.

i am sure of it. there is no doubt. this is it. i was made for it. i was born for that. for baking. some people make a difference in this scary world through politics. others through giving millions to charities. some by serving voluntarily in different "help" organizations. well. i do it by being a wife and newly mom who bakes for others. all day long sometimes. this morning, i spent a few hours in my bright yellow kitchen. baking away a fresh raisin n' cinnamon bread. also, i baked a few muffins and decided to dress them up with a lovely white and dark chocolate icing. they were staring at me. they spoke in their own language which i happen to understand. they thanked my gorgeous dotty blue and purple apron as well as me, for making them pretty. pretty for others. then it was my turn to thanked them. for giving their lives to serve others. i reminded them of something worth living for. "it was because of them that a few people would find happiness today". so. i had to take a picture of them. in memory. of happiness. of contentment. of bringing sunshine. and love to so many.

*wednesday love*

So I guess I have had quite a bit of wednesday love today. My personal blog will probably explain that away! But the beauty in the detail has to be the first daisies springing up. That is a good thing :)

well

i woke up this morning, went in the bathroom... and guess what was the first thing i did? yep. i failed! i looked in the mirror. i don't think it'd be possible to not look in a mirror. unless all the mirrors were destroyed. and still. we could always look in a puddle of water and see our reflection! or. in a shop window!

Rhian: Ha, "unless all the mirrors were destroyed." All the mirrors IN THE WORLD!
I've been thinking about it. Is this question uncomfortable because we are vain? Is this question uncomfortable because it makes us realise just how much time we do spend on our appearance, despite our contstant talk about finding inner beauty?
Is this question uncomfortable because it makes us seem contradictory in what we hold as important? I think its that last one.
I believe in beauty of character yes. So then why would it matter if I look in the mirror or not?
I have no answers, and oh so many questions.

Flo: yes. i believe in the inner beauty more than anything else. but. maybe. what if looking in the mirror wasn't such an uncomfortable thing? i mean. not in a vain way. what if it'd be possible to look at ourselves in a 'healthy' way. just because. we like pretty things. we're attracted to pretty things. i did say "things". i'm not talking about people. because i don't believe that it'd be possible for someone to actually be ugly. but. what if? would it be possible to learn to have a balance. and maybe. learn to look at our true selves without been vain and trying to look like someone else? or better that someone else? like, why is it so uncomfortable for someone not to wear any makeup? why do we wear makeup anyways?
oh dear. more questions. ha.

something everyone should know...

this is something that i already knew. however. i never researched it! but now that i have.
oh my lovelyhead! why are we still drinking it??????!!!

regarding the mirror question... shall we try not to look in a mirror for 2 days? just to see what it's like? :p i'm gonna do it, starting tomorrow!

My reply to you flora: You have fun doing that! Ha. But no. I don't think I could. I really don't. How could I leave the house to go to Uni and not look in the mirror? Gosh. This question has really made me think.
Replying to rhian: you could always take a picture of yourself and see how you look! ;)

Do you think...

you could go a whole week without looking in a mirror?
Honestly.
Really.

I don't.
And that question makes me uncomfortable even thinking about it.
I have more to say on this question. But it needs to be worked out in my head first.

But do you?

i love...

this shirt! definitely one of my favs!

nothing more, nothing less

just a glimpse

when everything else looks dark, devastating and sad... i was able to find a glimpse of beauty in my chocolate muffins.

i love baking. i think it's beautiful. and yummy.

my muffin recipe:
2 and 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 semisweet chocolate pieces (2oz)
4 tablespoons butter, melted, then cooled
1 egg, beaten
1 cup of milk

step 1: stir flour, baking powder and salt into a bowl (large is better)
step 2: stir in sugar and chocolate pieces
step 3: in a small bowl, mix cooled butter, egg and milk
step 4: pour into dry ingredients and stir until flour is moistened but looks a bit lumpy
step 5: spoon mixture into prepared cups
step 6: bake in preheated over (400 F) 15 to 20 minutes until well risen and golden brown
step 7: cool in cups 5 minutes before serving
step 8: ENJOY!

In memory

I had a post that has been on my mind for a few days.

But.

This happened. And I am so completely shocked and devastated it doesn't feel right posting anything else.

I didn't know Heath Ledger, clearly, although have loved him since I was 16 years old and 10 Things I Hate About You became my go to movie.

I can only imagine how his family feel having been so far away from him, and now under public scrutiny.

I'm choosing to believe it's not an overdose, untill the facts are provided. From what everyone says he was down to earth, normal, vibrant, and unquestionably talented.

I can't remember being so shocked by a celebrity death.

surely, we can find beauty... even in the smallest things.

happy

they say "laughing is a good medicine"
i guess it's true...

Look whos in Wales

lovelyheads love to laugh.