every month either bring some good memories. or bad. like the moment he proposed to you. or the moment someone gave you the most beautiful gift ever. or just the fact that you celebrated who you were. until that time. april. a month that i wish could have been deleted. destroyed. wishing it never happened. wishing we could go back in time. i do not know what it's like to loose someone as close as a brother. or sister. or mother. but she knows. i've never experienced that pain. i can only imagine it. i never want to go through that. knowing that i will probably die myself. and probably become really and definitely 'someone that will never be the one i used to be'.
it's so difficult to find the right word to express anger. or injustice. wondering why He let it happen. so many questions. apart of stupidity and people no doing their 'so said caring job' i have no other answer.
so. i wanted to celebrate his life in this darkness and the deep grief. the one that his family have to face everyday. he is a beautiful person. he is loved. and will always be missed.
